Someone's Got to Say It -- That Chick Is INSANE

What the hell is Britney Spears thinking? Is she insane?

Mickey's Malt Liquor...the Key to Weight Loss?
Zoo Animals Gone Wild...Caught on Film!
The New York Times Attacks...Mike Doe Declares War!
Paparazzi Photos Prove that Mike Doe is a Friend to Animals!
103 Degrees in the Shade and no J-O-B in Sight...Yet

Someone's Got to Say It...Twitter Ain't So Big in South Philly...Yet!

Hey, fuhgedaboutit! But Mike Doe is already making with the smartass comments at http://twitter.com/mikedoe.

Mike Doe Is a Funny Mofo...for a Non-Italian

Finally, my boy Mike Doe has returned from beating fools down in the street, or whatever one does when one is not writing blog posts! He is back to his funny ways. Frankly, I was kind of worried. Me and Dalton were preparing a search party, which, in actuality, if you must know, meant we was gonna bust heads until we figured out where the hell Mike Doe was.

Fortunately, this was not necessary.

Mike Doe, you're a funny mofo, for a non-Italian. But you better keep posting, or you might find yourself taking a long dive off a short pier, if you knowwhatimean?

So welcome back! Don't make no mistakes. Do your thing. Case closed. Fughedaboutit!

Jordache Jeans Are Lame

Sorry, this has been on my mind a long time, but those damn Jordache jeans are for total d-bags! Unless it's worn by a chick, and then I go on an ass-by-ass basis!

Scott Baio is a Major League D-Bag....

NOT.

Just kidding! Scott Baio is a great Italian-american actor. This dude rocked Happy Days AND Charles in Charge, two of the great situations comedies of all time.

Can't remember any Great Italian Movies he's been in, but what the hell. Dalton from Road House even respects Chachi, er, I mean "Scott's" ability to score high-end chicks...and Dalton is the guy who wrote the world famous Zen and the Art of Bouncing. That's a serious piece of work, let me tells ya.

So, in conclusion....Chachi Baio is not a D-bag! Case closed! Fughedaboutit!

Dan Snyder, the Redskins Owner, Is a Douche Bag

Is douche bag two words(see previous example) or two (a la douchebag)? Either way, Dan Snyder, the owner of the NFL's Washington Redskins, qualifies as a certified, grade-A douchebag.

Bourne Ultimatum Kicked Ass, No Kidding

Jason Bourne is like the Rocky of spy movies: the guy just flat out kicks ass. I saw the Bourne Ultimatum the other day. This, my friends, was an instant classic. Check it out. It's the best. Fuhgedaboutit!

Someone's Got to Say It...Brittney is No Adrian!

Brittney Spears is not a classy lady, unlike Adrian Balboa. Brittney needs to shut her piehole, get a job at a nice reputable pet shop, and start minding her Ps and Qs!

Someone's Got to Say It...Don King Is a Cheat!

Don King's been holding back Rocky Balboa for too long and no one ain't said nothing. Except me! That fool better never show his face in South Philly, or he's going to find himself on the business end of my size 12 foot!